People really do talk, don't they ? Oh well.

You are not a good friend after all.

I love because I love and not because of lust

Things I should have done.

1. Have my bath. 2. Pray. 3. Clean up my room. 4. Learn. 5. Decorate. 6. Watch all the seasons of HIMYM Well, I just had my bath and prayed. That's a good start I guess. Spend today with him before he leaves to college. God, I hope he'll be fine there. I am happy. In some sorta way, we really complete each other, and that's a nice feeling to feel.

An again.

So, here we go again. One of those vulnarable night. So vulnarable that i decided to blog. I feel like I have to begin my life again. This one, I have a really good feeling that it would turn out beautiful. I was just a little girl, a baby. A baby girl who doesn't feel like she's the same as others. But that ain't matter. That could be good. That is a good thing. Am I still a baby girl? Because I still do believe in beautiful things...my wonderland. Am I a stupid girl for even dreaming I could? I hate to believe that there is hate in this world. That's why I ignore. I was such an ignorant person. I ignored everything, everyone. I have forgotten that I can't live alone. I have forgotten....I ain't a baby girl anymore. The biggies don't take care of me like they used to. I have my own feet, I can stand by myself. It's totally alright. It's cool. Sometimes, I even ignore the one's that matter. Someday, I'll have kids of my own. I'll have a family of my own. I promise I will not repeat the same mistake, I will take care of 'em like the mafia princess took care of her family. Family comes first. Family is everything. I'll start my own beautiful family. You know, I have learn more than enough in life. I have seen most everything I need to see/understand. But there is still more to learn. But I guess I am taking the learning process a break for a bit. Just to digest everything I have learnt from my mistake and just to really understand it deeply. But, how can I understand it if I don't obey Allah SWT ? I wonder. I am really communicating with myself, so that i don't have to lie anymore when he asks me wheather I'm okay. This time when I say I'm okay, I really mean it. I thank God for everything. For the knowledge he gave me. For the way I think, the way I believe. But is it too much to ask a new life again? A new environment, new friends. That's all I'm asking. I don't want to go back. I apologise for all of my past. It's been a year of us. I don't want to stop counting. Don't let me stop counting. I swear I'm good in mathematics. I feel so excited for 2013, gonna burn all of my fear, and let the flame shine in the future. Till then, x.

A dead blog, indeed, again.

Hello again mates ! Been quite long since i last blogged :O So, what is going on ay ? Life is...different. Different in so many ways, angles, perspectives, etc.. I have learnt a lot. And I have worked so hard to give up. So I will never decide to give up. With life. Sometimes, I feel like my life is on 'pause'. Something is missing. I believe I will find that 'missing part' soon. It's like, I am living in a total different life than what I am supposed to live in. I have never expected this. What I imagined when I was 12 years old, were all wrong. But I am so grateful with everything I have now. I'm sorry, but it is not enough yet. Still have to find that missing piece. You beautiful people have a great life, 8 days till Raya, be strong, and put your heads up ! :) xx

Love.

So, it is going great. I can't seem to express this feeling of mine. I dont know how to. I am just hoping for the best, and hoping that this one stays and it is true. I don't need more. Being true is good enough for me.

2012.

Opened my eyes, and I realize it is alrdy 2012. Maybe i do feel something, but some part just doesn't care about how the world works anymore. Being close to nature is more meaningful than dealing with people these days. Let's just not care. Happy New Year !

Happiness.

Happy. Laughter. I can laugh everyday, every time, every second, always. And I won't let anyone own this laughter. I'll find something happy to do/think of every single day & it's absolutely doesn't have to be about anyone. Life is too short, I won't waste my time being unhappy and ungrateful for what i have. I have doubts. Loadssss of 'em. And it's been bothering my mind. So I've dropped into a conclusion where I will throw this doubts away and just do whatever i want to do, what i feel is right.

Life's great. Life's a bitch. Life's better. Life is a like a roller coaster, it has its own ups and downs. I'm not really sure where I'm at. I do hope for the best. Till then, x.

Que sera, sera.

It means, if it's meant to be, it will be

I have finally decide & made my mind. I think I'm gonna take a break from this social life and concentrate in my life. I do know what I want now. I used to always go with the flow, but to think again, I have to work too! For what ever hit me, life always go on. I believe I am stronger now. And frankly, sometimes I do like to just be alone. I feel calm. :)

=)

I'm such a fool
I'm such a fool
I'm such a fool
I'm such a fool
I'm such a fool
I'm such a fool
I'm such a fool
I'm such a fool
I'm such a fool
I'm such a fool
I'm such a fool
I'm such a fool
I'm such a fool

I'm such a fool
I'm such a fool
I'm such a fool
I'm such a fool
I'm such a fool
I'm such a fool
I'm such a fool
I'm such a fool
I'm such a fool
I'm such a fool
I'm such a fool
I'm such a fool
I'm such a fool

I'm such a fool
I'm such a fool
I'm such a fool
I'm such a fool
I'm such a fool
I'm such a fool
I'm such a fool
I'm such a fool
I'm such a fool
I'm such a fool
I'm such a fool
I'm such a fool
I'm such a fool

It's like I'm letting myself hurt. Wish I am stronger.

What had ever happened.

I will never leave you

So that's just the truth. Every hello comes with a goodbye. But how long do I have to keep on living like this? Do I really have to be ready for every hello which eventually ends with a goodbye? Seriously? Yeah, who am I to ask. I guess, I just have to learn how to survive. I'm not the kind of girl who's SO LOW. Get whut I'm saying? I'm always..happy :( So when I'm not, I will always wonder..why? It was always easy for me back then because I was so fresh & clean. Not saying I am not clean now..haha just...my mind is getting more fucked up as i grew up.

I was just a little girl. I knew i needed to take care of myself, by pushing people away. I let love down so many times. And now i began to wonder, was it the right choice? I see happy couples here and there, and all I could think of is " I was offered with so much loves, I let it down " I don't know, i guess i wasn't ready. Still am not. But i just miss the feeling of being wanted or having someone to talk to every night. Having those funny fights. Haha lol k, whatever Lisa. But then i guess I'll be okay. I should be a better person day by day because the future deserves the best. And so do I.

SLEEPOVER

Sleepover in my house bitches! Aha. Okay it is the holiday, and to be honest, SO FAR, its friggin-ly borrrreeeddd. Please kill me >( Haha, so i hope tonight's gonna be fun.

So, my bestfrnd is coming home tonight from his Uni. Phew. I hope we will have a great time together insteed of fighting all the time, like we always do. Oh well. Haha. Umm, what else? Oh yeah! Another dead person in my life. Yeah, I'm talking about you alright. You are dead. Who are u ? Oh i don't know, you're just someone dead. Sux heh

Just watched Paranormal Activity 2 AGAIN, haha freaks me out man, thank god my girls is sleeping with me tonight <3

There's not really much to say, because I'm at Aina's house, and my mood is really neutral right now, I'm not emo and all this shit, so not rly a good time to blog but what the hack!

Till then loves, x.

Yes to best friends, no to boyfrnds.

I am currently loving ze life. Enjoying every second of it, breathing the fresh oxygen, well not so fresh but what the hack. I love hanging out with my friends, there is always laughter. All the crazy moments we build together, ho boyy, surely something I'd miss when i flash back in the future. Just can't freaking wait for the holidays and enjoy even more and meet all of my old friends. I miss 'em so so much. Will be also moving to my new house, yippie! No more this 'insecure' feeling, I'll be like 'fuck off' je lah now. Because like, hello, what to worry about? Am thinking better now, glad of it. I dunnu, life is just great for now. If only it would last forever. What a wish. Mmm-hmm

When it all falls down.

You know what, don't even fucking bother to be friends with me when you acted so immature and childish. I don't approve children in my friend list, too young to know about what the grown ups do. I am guessing you just realize how motherfucking stupid you have been. I don't fucking care if you hate me, i don't fucking care if you want to talk bad things about me to your frnds and MY frnds. Because deep down inside you are just so fragile and I'm not fucking scared of u ! You are a pussy, do you know that? If you really ready to be frnds, say it right to my fucking gorgeous face. WHICH I KNOW YOU WON'T. I am so sorry for not acting professional right now, but I'm in a fucking PMS for god's sake! So what the hack! You suck balls. Chow!!

SING

Fuck I feel so good and I just want to shout my asses off! Sing along bitches ! x